How many times have you heard…forgiveness is a gift you give yourself?
Well, who doesn’t want gifts! So why is it so hard? We resist forgiveness because of our need to be right and our need to place blame…because how could it be our fault?
The need to be “right”
The resistance begins when hear we need to forgive to heal or when we realize we just can’t get past the event without forgiveness.
This is when the five year old you comes out kicking and screaming. It wasn’t my fault…don’t you know what they did to me…don’t you know what happened to me. What do you mean I may have had a role in causing that…it’s them not me!
To make matters worse, let’s throw fear, shame and embarrassment into the mix…what if someone found out I did that or I let that person do that crappy thing to me again.
You can see that this is going south pretty quickly.
Moving past blame
Here’s a thought to ponder…what if we removed blame from forgiveness? If there was no one who had to be wrong and no one who had to be right. What if we took the tremendous power we give to the notion of blaming out of the forgiveness equation?
The solution lies in owning our stuff. This is very difficult for most of us humans. When we are honest with ourselves we fear exposing our true selves. What if people found out how terrible I am…it’s is a scary proposition for many of us.
Please know that in this way, you are unique…just like everyone else.
We all have stuff, it may be the same or uniquely our version of the stuff. None of us likes or wants to admit we are wrong or that there is some darkness in us. Some call it the shadow side of us. We are human. We are all made of the same energy.
When we own the light and the dark inside us we can begin to forgive and heal.
This is being human
To accept all that is us we must be kind to ourselves. When we are kind, love and accept all of ourselves…darkness and light…unconditionally we can heal ourselves.
When we unconditionally love and accept ourselves we stop looking for love and acceptance outside ourselves. We realize we are enough exactly as we are. We realize blame is just a thing we made up to spare ourselves pain….when in reality it does the opposite.
Holding onto resentment about a situation that happened or what you perceive someone did to you causes a disruption in our energy system which manifest as negative emotions that leach energy from your body. Many times this may turn into some kind of pain or illness in your body.
So, yes, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s the best gift ever…freedom!
Experience personal freedom for yourself
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